Sort of. Overall I loved the fraternity experience and wouldn’t trade it. The parties are fun. We had it easier than the guys in the ‘80s did, and you’d have it easier than we did. The result is that it gets easier as the years go on. From Facebook, I know that a lot of them have kept in touch and still get together/plan weekends/go to Homecoming. “Sorority … I had a friend who joined a sorority and her fees were well over $5000. My sorority, like most, was very much focused on scholarship. Most of my friends are guys and when you put a lot of girls in a room together it tends to go badly. And as a person who served on the executive board, without it the system wouldn't work as well. I agree! AskWomen benefits from honest answers with a variety of perspectives. [–]♀pro_forma_life 23 points24 points25 points 5 years ago (1 child). Free recruiting for the college, and free student body management (to a point). became 'common sense or etiquette' in the Southern US. While in some fields this may hold true to getting your foot in the door (legal, law, and medicine/medical), other fields, the most it will get you is a high-five. [–]♂JPLR 8 points9 points10 points 5 years ago (0 children). But the funny thing is, the majority of girls on my campus wear athletic shorts with an XL t-shirt, so it doesn't really make sense. [–]WestCoastBestCoast01 15 points16 points17 points 5 years ago (0 children). [–]BaroNessie 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children). [–]Smokinacesfan55 26 points27 points28 points 5 years ago (5 children). [–]♀mleftpeel 14 points15 points16 points 5 years ago (1 child). I'm not the stereotypical sorority girl, and I am an engineer, and my chapter is full of hilarious, chill, down-to-earth girls that I can discuss middle eastern politics or sing Taylor Swift with. The “negative stereotypes” associated with Greek life… It seems a sorority acts as organized socialization, and in some cases, comes across as rather militant in defining who you are (dress, fines, mandatory participation, affiliation to a group that makes you feel entitled to something due to that affiliation). I come from a household where nobody ever told me what to do, and as a result in high school I fucked around cause I made good grades so I didn't care. [–]rageface11 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago* (9 children). When the greek life system fails to value the safety of their members or support those who need to speak out, it has failed. They got kicked off campus for obvious reasons. [–]♀croakiee 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children). When I go job searching in a new city, my friend just gives me a list of contacts that values her as a personal reference and I'm practically guaranteed a job. You're there for an education, you shouldn't be fined for doing the right thing. Bonus question I just thought of: If you had to do it all over again, would you still chose your sorority, if any? Sorority reviews, ratings, and rankings for University of Virginia - UVA greek life - Greekrank They also didn’t have a house, so it’s entirely possible this fraternity is a rumor, [–]brotmuffin 1 point2 points3 points 1 year ago (8 children). FIJI Islander is their signature party and it’s a good time. Here are some of the most notorious sororities in the United States, and the missteps that have chipped away at their names. Getting a rape kit done is awful. [–]♀wonderfulmeg 28 points29 points30 points 5 years ago (7 children). It was nice to hear that's what you experienced. No graceless generalizations. /r/makeupaddiction Chi O- Southern belles. When I explained it his only response was; "You mean people make you pay to be their friend?". [–]theloniusjaz 4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (0 children). I was very involved in college before I joined a sorority, and those were a higher priority to me than my sorority was. 3149 Being in a sorority can be challenging with all the different stereotypes. My school prohibits brother/sister Greek organizations, so take this with a grain of salt. I just didn't understand it and went on what the stereotypes said. … [–]inkieblot 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (2 children). Strength in weak ties. I go to a pretty small state school, when compared to the other two state schools here. Worst: The stereotypes, the house-bashing, the feeling that I sometimes didn't fit in because I wasn't friends with EVERY single woman in the chapter, and most of formal recruitment (informal recruitment is a much better way to get to know PNMs). Why did you choose to join a sorority after being raped? My frat had a thing where we couldn't wear athletic shorts to class. Archived. I remember leaving a strip club early in the morning several times with groups of Phi Mus. Because it is underground, there are different rules and restrictions, like not being able to wear a certain color, can't cut corners on sidewalks, must use the stairs, carrying some obscene object with you at all times (i have heard of eggs, a live fish, etc), being beat or paddled, sleep or food deprivation, extreme mental or emotional cruelty by asking for extreme memorization and repeating it aloud in a pressured environment. You are bonding to the sorority not just to be social, but to make commitments of being a certain type of human being. Standing up to people judging you is awful. I felt effective until my own organization undermined the very message I was sending. Kappa- Pi Phi but blonde, and a little more chill. Wow, this got a lot more of a response than I was anticipating. Another thing - officially leaving the sorority caused all the girls who recognized me as a former member to give me death glares or completely ignore me on campus which I didn't expect (but should have). And forget about missing chapter, bc you're getting a fine AND a lecture for not being "committed to sisterhood", [–][deleted] 26 points27 points28 points 5 years ago (6 children). Did you feel compelled to attend as many events as possible? Preface, I worked in my university greek life office, so I know quite a bit of what happens as well as from being on campus knowing lots of people in different orgs. For my sorority, attendance in some events (recruitment, initiation, etc) was dictated in bylaws. /r/hair I have the greatest littles and would not trade back my time in my sorority for anything in the world because I wouldn't have met them. My college doesn't allow freshman rushing for those reasons you outlined. :/, [–]♀wonderfulmeg 16 points17 points18 points 5 years ago (0 children). [–]WestCoastBestCoast01 4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (2 children). [–][deleted] 17 points18 points19 points 5 years ago (2 children). Questions specifying majority demographics are not permitted. No seeking medical advice. How has no one stood up to this or spoken out or IDK, flipped their shit? Fairly typical Tulane rich girls that can party. More girls than you'd expect are on payment plans. No personal advice. If you can remember compliance laws, know the formulas, can fill out forms and display the correct format for reporting, you are gold. I know it varies chapter to chapter and school to school, but a lot of people in this thread are saying its a huge time sink. This is awesome that you’ve taken the time to do this. [–]brotmuffin 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (6 children). If I had to do it all over again, I wouldn't have changed my sorority, but the year I chose to go through recruitment. Probably like you can't show up in sweatpants/sweatshirt. Some (though not me) might perceive them as stuffy or reserved, but they’re chill as fuck and great to be around. Now my school was hardcore about drinking rules and when the President of the chapter found out there would be drinking (but no men and no driving and 3/7 were 21) she shut down the Party. I often stirred up controversy by going my own way on several issues. You might think it's outrageous that our exec board would tell you to take a picture off of facebook if you were doing something illegal/highly inappropriate, or they wouldn't let you dress super slutty to an event, or they'd want you to dress appropriately for other events, but I'd say that's helping others act responsibly and not embarrass themselves. Oh, and during rush they had very specific dress code, often requiring us to buy hundreds of dollars of clothing out of pocket. Like ADPi, their sister sorority, they’re Jewish, they party, and cocaine is definitely on the menu. It's petty but it's part of the culture I guess. Well like I said it is different everywhere but I have seen actual investigations and read confessions from pledges (who only ever send them anonymously). Do with that information as you will. It’s the first thing that pops into your head when you hear the school’s name. There weren't just a bunch of us "in a room together;" we were on a campus together, all the time. On the flip side, this also seems to be very much a USA problem, as I did not see much of it overseas (Germany and Norway). I was in the smallest chapter on campus (~100 girls) and that forced us to have strict requirements as far as participation in Greek Week & other things went so that we could compete on the same level with the other chapters. One who gets good grades, does service, and contributes to her community. That is where I believe the system is now. [–]ewoolly271 1 point2 points3 points 1 year ago (0 children), Add ADPi to low tier and this list is up to date. I definitely encourage you to go Greek though, there are networking opportunities and friendships that last a lifetime. We are usually around $170 per semester, with $350 being the average paid by new members. Even meeting other girls who are in other greek organizations gives you something to start a conversation about. If that doesn’t work out, you always have the option to sit this year out, take your time meeting people, and rush as a sophomore. It’s not easy to face stereotypes because they degrade and generalize, trapping you into a mold without giving you a chance to prove otherwise. Otherwise, you can probably find your lifelong friends at college, granted with a little more effort. You commit as much or little as you want from then on - you've paid your membership and that's the only one-off commitment. Many of the girls I met at freshman orientation went on to join Greek Life and became some of my best friends so I got an experience of it second hand. Also, the sororities at my school put in a ton of effort to make sure that formal recruitment is interesting for the women participating. I went to a state school in the south-east. When I was raped, my mother admitted she had been raped in college too. I ended up just giving up going to meetings and whatnot because I didn't know anyone's name, and it seemed like everyone was getting together and hanging out except for me. Don't just join some Sorority willy-nilly but really consider your choices. Over the past few years, I’ve read thousands of columns submitted through TSM, hundreds of sorority opinion pieces published elsewhere, and an uncountable number of tweets written by sorority girls. Generally, yes. I had a couple of friends in sororities. I'm from the south and would never have gone Greek at a cookie cutter sorority like the ones at big universities down here but I went to a small school up north and did go Greek. [–]Ziggy_A 8 points9 points10 points 5 years ago (4 children). And I'm so deeply sorry you and these two young women were raped. use the following search parameters to narrow your results: and join one of thousands of communities. You don't get fined because you have class, tutoring, si sessions, finals. [–]♀HigHog 6 points7 points8 points 5 years ago (16 children). Can you do this whole thing again for fraternities? Scavenger Hunts or forced study hours can be considered hazing. Mostly I'm just concerned about the money thing. Would you consider college a continuation of highschool, and grad school as the place where serious networking and socializing around a common goal takes place? Recruitment. Yeah no worries. This is a good question, honestly I couldn't give you an answer since I see both sides. *I'm not close with my brother and I always wanted a sister. $$$. So 8 months of rent, food, alcohol, and everything else for $5,000? the sisterhood? What do they do these days? [–]rageface11 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago* (1 child). Sometime being too frat can be a bad thing. She shut it down so hard that 3 girls lost positions in the sorority and everyone had disciplinary action taken. That was the primary reason I joined- it wasn't the typical blonde-haired cookie cutter group, who didn't live up to sorority stereotypes. Not knocking what charity is done by Greeks (although the "dance for those who can't" marathons can get pretty tasteless). Yes, there are mandatory events throughout the year (recruitment, initiation, philanthropy event, retreats) and a weekly 1-2 hour long chapter meeting, but you can generally be as involved as you want after that. 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